Truly a New Light

Just came back to tell you my game of Monkey in the Middle has OFFICIALLY ENDED!

Lucky me, lucky me, lucky me...

But what's NOT COOL is that now my friend has joined the game and suddenly feels really down... I don't know how to cheer her up. Heck, she won't even tell me what's up, for the most part. I don't get my age group.

But either way, I'm still really happy, until just now I realized...
I haven't really eaten for two days. Oops. I only noticed that 'cuz my stomach growled. So now I'm really hungry but it's 11:40pm so there's no way I'm going through the trouble of all that when my parents are asleep. I don't consider 11pm late, to be honest, but they do. Unless I'm exhausted I do. Which I kinda am. I just spent two days partying then meeting up some old friends at the ice rink. I'm happy. Again.

Well, I'll find something more interesting for you to read later, it's just...
I don't have much time to sit and contemplate random stuff like;;

How suckish our society is, views and perspectives, fantasy, daydreaming, random writing with strange meanings, anything of that sort...

I can't write squat unless I'm down or confused. But I'm happy.

So nothing comes to mind for me except: "I'm happy."

I promise, though, I'll find something. Real soon.

Monkey in the Middle

It's just a game, right?

I'm in the middle, torn between two, but...
This game of Monkey in the Middle doesn't have a ball I have to catch.
So what's really the objective?
I don't know.
I'm confused, things drastically changed in a matter of seconds.
I can't even tell you what's happening.
But I want to.
All I know is this is just a big game, a big game of Monkey in the Middle.
And I'm in the middle this time.
Good things and weird things are happening to me. And some downright bad things.
But mostly happy things.
Woah.

Chain Letters

I knew I had to post something because I had a lot go on today, so much that as soon as I finished some of my homework and got on my blog, my mind went blank. I guess I have two pointless things that are a big part of my life to talk about today, though.

Well, okay, ONE. I'm sure you don't want me to rant on how music runs my life, so...

I'll talk about what we all experience-- chain letters. Aren't they pointless? Annoying? Yup, they are. I especially hate the ones that say "You will meet the love of your life if you send this to five people..." I mean, what are you trying to accomplish? How many people get the letter?

But I will say that's not all true. Just 99.9% of the time. Anyway, I felt really down today about something, and then I went to check my email-- and I got some chain letter that really cheered me up. Even though it was a tad irritating to get pointless email, it still cheered me up. so if you're the one who sent it, you know who you are, thank you.

But still... chain letters are annoying.

So this is me when I'm not thinking about anything anyone cares about. :)

5:53am

That time has always been stuck in my head since i was... nine? I don't know. I don't even know why, really, it's just I had a nightmare when I was younger that had really changed my look in life. I had finally realized the value of life and how I really am afraid to die. I'm glad I experienced it through a nightmare rather than reality. In the dream it was irrational too, something silly as the city exploding at 5:53am... and then I remember how much fear I'd had before I woke up. When I looked at the clock after I'd woken up, it was 5:53am. Even though I know it wasn't a "strange coincidence" it really changed my perspective. I know it's childish, but after that friends and family became the most important part of my life.

5:53am. Houre of doom... (kidding!)

Friends are Worth a Thousand Words

As I'm waiting before meeting up with my friends today, I realized that as you grow up, your memories of people in the past start to dissolve depending on much they made of an impact on your life. I could name all sorts of people I remember, too, but over time you forget the little details you knew about the person as a child, like their favorite color, their obsession with chocolate cake... All you remember in the end is all of the great times you shared with each of your friends. Over time you forget that too. So I'm going to remember all of my friends, and do them the honor of showing up on my blog. (I'm lame, I know...) First there's Naomy, who loves zebras. Then there's Angela, who loves to draw. Joseph, who was extremely funny, Bianca, who I could tell secrets to, Kayla, we always laughed together, Andy, we always went trick-or-treating together, Jasmine, who was always cheery, Junevie, who was always fun to hang out with, Halee, who I talk to a lot, Taryn, who loved Hugh Jackman, Katie, who always has TicTacs, Andrew, who obsessed with cheese, Mark, who loves zombies, Kathryn, who liked ninjas, Chris, who squirted lemon in his eyes on purpose, Karye, who's a shmoopie, Nicole, who loves dogs, Britney, who was always fun to talk to, Taylor, who's a good friend, Sarah, who used to love the Jonas Brothers, and so many more people I know. Most of you I haven't named, and don't worry, I have NOT forgotten about you. It's just... I gotta meet with my friends now. Bye!

Striking

I can't think of anything today, or even this year, that had as great an effect on me as today. I visited my old school that I had last attended a long, long time ago. I wrote about this already, so... I don't feel like rewriting it now. This is how it is though-- "I put it in the mailbox and left, sitting on the old swings me and my friends used to play on, going to the spot on the field we always met at, sitting back at our lunch table, and then I noticed… something carved on the edge of the table. I didn’t know who wrote it, but… it reminded me of my friends. It said, “We haunt this table forever.” I’m not kidding. At that moment I smiled. Now I get it, and somehow I’ve tried to piece it together. Before me and my friends, there were others who loved that table and didn’t fit into any stereotype. They had memories for this school too, memories that made you happy but severely isolated when you know you can’t go back. This school is home of many generations, over and over, and everyone’s ghost is there, even though each of us is forgotten, each of us erased with time." That's what I wrote for my school blog. I can't think of another time I felt that lonely, isolated, yet happy and nostalgic all at the same. So, yeah, that was today when I visited my old elementary school! It was a blast visiting it like this, even so, because before this I had just visited the hellish place known as my old middle school. I hated that school, no good memories were left behind for me at ALL.